Politics UK: Culloden

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Right wing tabloid posing as a serious paper
THERE REALLY IS ONLY ONE LOONY LEFT - SURELY LABOUR CAN'T BE THAT  STUPID?

Arise, Comrade Sir James! It's fast approaching that time again when the Labour Party has a conversation with itself to pick who can be chosen as the next apostle to the British public, the fluffy 'moderate' face of what is actually at heart a hard socialist agenda that would make Britain poorer at home, and feeble abroad. 

Only this time they seem to seriously be contemplating appointing The Right Honourable Sir James McCrimmon QC as next General Secretary, a man who makes Clem Attlee look positively revisionist, and who has promised to emanate heroes from the eastern bloc by 'purging' his party of 'moderates'. I think the Russian term you're looking for is Kulak, eh Comrade? We really thought that after three tub thumping electoral defeats Labour couldn't sink any lower, but we do hand it to Sir James - he'll put Spitting Image out of business in absolutely no time.

This champagne socialist Knight of the Realm, like most of Labour's Union Barons and North London intelligentsia Guardian-reading supporters - is a HYPOCRITE. He claims that he has only earned a maximum of fifty thousand pounds a year, and wait for it - not content with the filthy proceeds of the bourgeois economic cycle, owns TWO flats - but as Sir James himself claims, it's alright because one is rented out. You couldn't make it up!

If this ban the bomb hug a homo Trotskyite loon gets anywhere near a position of power - then we might as well call the 1992 election off, because let's face it - anybody who hasn't been sectioned under the Mental Health Act wouldn't dream of voting for this clown.
Thatcher "regrets" Budget choices in leaked private statements

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The former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, told a private lunch that she "regretted" the choices made by the Prime Minister and Chancellor in their Budget. Multiple sources at the lunch, which the newly ennobled Baroness Thatcher hosted at Westminster for various former allies from politics and the media, confirmed that the former Prime Minister had less than kind words to say about the Budget and the suspension of the poll tax.

One source told us:

"She was quite clearly livid, seeing the Budget as a repudiation of everything that she had worked to achieve in office. She was cutting about the amount of borrowing - who's going to pay all that back, she asked - and about the huge interventions in industry. She had a general view that the Government had no backbone and had given in to 'socialist rabble rousing and trouble making'. She was very depressed about the state of the Conservative Party, and not because of Russian spies."

The former Prime Minister's office has declined to comment.