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"Scenes of Stiumulus From An Italian Restaurant" - Shadow Chancellor, East End, London


Matty Bradford
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Remarks Made On a Stage Set Up In Front of "Il Bordello" in East End, London

The Tories have trotted out some lines about how the Labour Party talking point is going to lead to some sort of run on the pound or a situation akin to the tragedy of Zimbabwe. These talking points of theirs are both hysterical in terms of attempting to create a panic and hysterical in their line of thinking.

I am going to tell the tale of two economies.

The Tory economy. And our economy. 

And by the end of these stories, you’ll see why our economy is better.

Brenda and Eddie have a combined income of £40,000 annually as both work at the local NHS facility. And every Friday evening, they head out together to enjoy a nice meal at their favourite local Italian restaurant, Giuseppe’s.

But times are tough. They already know people who have lost work. And they are incredibly worried about losing his job at the NHS due to the Tory’s efficiency cuts. Because of this, Brenda and Eddie have decided they need to save money if and when they lose their work. 

As a result, Brenda and Eddie have decided that they can no longer afford to go to Giuseppe’s. 

Giuseppe has lost two valued customers. And he’s already witnessed a drop in customers since people in the community started to lose their jobs. And then that has snowballed because of the very understandable fears of people like Brenda and Eddie.

And now Giuseppe has a tough choice to make. His profits have evaporated. He needs to trim expenses. First, he decides he needs to let go of Tommy and Gina, who are two of his waitstaff. Both of them have now lost their work, and good luck to them finding work.

But the economy continues to struggle. Giuseppe has to shut his doors. Now 20 people lose their jobs. And Giuseppe is no longer purchasing food from suppliers. They lose money. The delivery people who move those goods from farms to warehouses to restaurants lose money. 

There is a complete and total loss of demand in our economy. First people lose. Then businesses lose. And then more businesses lose. And, as a result, we all lose.

That is the Tory economy. The gloom in the economy expands like a virus... but, don’t worry, our lives will all be saved because Richard Branson gets to have his investment in a bank share insured. 

Now here is the story of our economy.

Brenda and Eddie feel secure in their work at the NHS, along with their well-earned raises. And this extra £1,000 has given them more wiggle room in the budget. 

Now, they can still go to Giuseppe’s, as can many other people in the community. Giuseppe does not have to fire Tommy nor Gina. In fact, he’s actually able to hire a few more people. He’s still able to pay his suppliers. Deliveries to Giuseppe’s continue, so those workers do not lose their jobs. And so on.

Our £1,000 injection of spending, along with our other measures like the job creating NCS program and other infrastructure projects, multiply throughout the economy. The bankers may have gone off and screwed the pooch for a while. 

But our plan will grow demand. People have more money to spend. Businesses have money to invest. And this just multiplies throughout our entire economy and thrive once again.

The Tory idea that this is printing money and is going to go off and lead to Zimbabwe inflation is just silly fear mongering from a party that offered this country no ideas as to how it would get through our crisis... except for making sure David and Simon Reuben don’t have to sell off their ninth yacht in case there’s a downturn in their stock portfolio.

Edited by Tabitha Kinsey
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